Classic JC #2 "Bigfoot is of the DEVIL!"

April 19th 1996, The first ever JC call to C2C...



Art: "I li- I wish Bigfoot were my dad!"
J.C.: "Oh! Well you know what? Bigfoot is of the DEVIL! If he is anything!"
Art: (laughs) "Here we go!"
J.C.: "It is demonic doings that are trying to deceive good Christian.."
Art: "Demonic? Demonic doings from the Devil, right?"
J.C.: "As YOU are! Ask that caller that called the other night- You ARE 'Satan's Mouthpiece!' You just walk with the Devil! You're just tryin' to deceive Chris- Good Christian Americans!"

Full Transcript of this call on the now archived deepspire JC site HERE

Classic JC #1 "YOU WOMAN!"

JC's take on women drivers in this classic call...



"Women shouldn't be on the road, I almost got clobbered in my truck today by some woman driver. And I screamed at her "YOU WOMAN! GET OFF THE ROAD!"

Shocking twist in the tale of the 'real' JC. Sex change op!

JC WEBSTER IS NO MORE. Today at 11am, he went into the sex change operating theater in the Philippines and came out as JAYCEE WEBSTER. He/She now wants to be refereed to as JAYCEE WEBSTER. "I couldn't go on continuing this lie." Jaycee said today. "I am a new woman. Please call me JAYCEE." Jaycee's breasts go in tommorrow. "I will be complete" She says.

Best of Coast to Coast Whackery (Video)

Best video EVER...

'JC' Movie - first shot of William Shatner* as 'JC'

*William Shatner as JC - This is only a speculative rumor, so far. This mock up is courtesy of 6X3 studios, graphics department.

More of the script from 'The Compound and The Heart'

This is the simply amazing opening scene to the 'JC' movie.

The Compound and the Heart Scene 01, page 01
San Francisco, Mid 70's. A stocky gay man is walking down a crowded and lively street in the heart of the gay community. The camera pans around, but sticks on the man, strolling effeminately. The Man suddenly stops, his laces on one of his shoes has come undone. He bends down to do them up.
Party Man: Hey fella, what'ya doing.
Man: My laces keep coming on done, what does it look like!?
Party Man: Oh chill, man. Just being nice. I like you, girlfriend. See'yah around.
Man: Will do, Partyman. Ladyboyz on Friday night, 9 sharp.
Out of nowhere a scary wild-eyed man approaches the man doing his laces up. He is holding a sign 'HOMOSEXUALS BURN IN BOILING PIT OF SEWAGE AFTER DEATH- FOLLOW THE NEW REVELATION'.
JB: You must rebuke satan and gayness, my child. Follow my new revelations, son and you will be saved.
The man looks up as JB speaks, he has seen him before.
Man: Huh, Jonathan, that you. It is you! I ain't see you in the longest. What you doing man.
JB Oh, Nathaniel. My god. I don't have these insultations!
The preacher runs away, throws his placard into the street and heads towards a group of people dressed in blue uniforms with with the words 'New revelations against Faggotry' on, across the chest.
JB: People! Attention! People.... Men! Woman! Attention! There is no hope for them, we must Leave, at once! If not we risk being contaminated by these vile urchins of evil. They are all satan incarnate! At once, back in the bus, we must flee for our lives! Our eternal souls depend on it.
The group following JB are terrified, as if running from a volcano or bomb, they flee towards a bus. It roars, and then speeds away with JB driving. Out of control and in a fit of pure rage JB runs down the man, he knew, Nathaniel. Nathaniel's body is thrown through the air in a spectacular specials effects shot. The body then lies slumped on the ground, lifeless, with blood forming a puddle. A horrified and curious crowd circles the body and the camera the pans up into the heavens above. The bus can still be seen in this shot, speeding away. The title of the film shows 'THE COMPOUND AND THE HEART - A TRUE STORY'
Flashback sequence, Two years earlier. Two men are cavorting in a pubic park. They have just picked each other up. They are roaming homosexuals - Cottagers.
Handsome Charlie: So my friend, what's you name.
Johnathan: Er, John. People call me 'The Cowboy' back home though.
Handsome Charlie: Oh, I've had a few - Cowboys, sweetheart.
Jonathan: Oh, haha. Your pretty funny.
The two embrace and kiss. An onlooking father shields his sons eyes from the sight of the two men. Charlie takes offence to this.
Handsome Charlie: Hey asshole, this in a public park in San Francisco, never seen a queer or two before!
Johnathan: How dare you! You're a rude man!
Johnathan gets up and walks away, leaving handsome Charlie alone, sitting in the park.
Some months later.
Nathaniel: Hey, Cowboy, what's up.
Johnathan: Stop calling me that. I'm Johnathan Benjamin Weston JR II, Or JB. As of today, I head back to IDAHO. I shall walk back home and set up my ministry.
Nathaniel: Ministry! Ministry for fags, like us!
JB: NO! I am DISGUSTATED! God has spoken to me, I am to write his new book, the new revelations and the new new commandments.
Nathaniel: You're fucking weird, man. I don't need this shit. I had shit day and you start joking with this shit. Fuck you, cowboy! Fuck you!
JB: Goodbye, FAGTHANIEL! See you next, when I push you into the boiling pit of shit! You Satanist!
What follows in a long series of takes (montage) showing JB walking back to Idaho, getting back and building his compound, preaching to strangers, bringing in disciple and on up to the present day. [music]Cusco's INCA DANCE plays during montage.
-----
Thanks to Joey Smith.

Phony JC sabotages C2C archive site!

In a desperate act to keep his phony persona intact 'Faux JC' has hacked into Don's Coast to Coast archive site and taken it off the internet.
Joey Smith had this to say - "This man is obviously under the control of some Devil monster of some kind. To take such a site off the internet is utter sacrilege. He is a Fraudulator and Devil, an evil, wicked human being. There is only one JC Webster, me, the voice actor. He is my character. I fear for the man's life. This action will not go unpunished, everyone knows that the site is used by the Canadian Communists who like shows on Bigfoot. They need constant access to that site, in case there's any Bigfoot updates. Hey, I'm communist myself, I know what these people are like and our likes. We like state totalitarianism and bigfoot. "

JC movie... Working title 'The Compound and The Heart'

EXCLUSIVE!!! RUMOR!!! ANG LEE TO DIRECT 'JC' MOVIE!
Could it be Brokeback Mountain 2? The compound and The Heart, a new film from Director Ang Lee is now in pre-production. The character list has JB Webston Jr II, Edina, Puntunia, Eric the stable boy, George Story, and Arthur Bellamy. Joey has Kindly sent me the script. And yes, I can give you a glimpse at that very script.

The Compound and the Heart Scene 20, page 42
JB: I'll phone this evil man until my fingers bleed. Isultators won't let me through again, Edina.
Edina: Just keep trying, JB. You've gotten through before.
JB: Good point. And god will make it happen! Oh shoot, it worked. Thank you, Lord. Hallelujah!
Arthur Bellamy: You're through to the wild card line, welcome to Coast 2 World AM.
JB: HOW DARE YOU! YOU HAVE INSULTATED ME FOR THE LAST TIME, MR BALLAMY!
Arthur Bellamy: OH, JB! How you doing. Are you a Fraud?
JB: HOW DARE YOU, I AM NOT A FRAUDULATOR!
Arthur Bellamy: Well, I've been told your a fake, a creation, a character. Well, JB, or voice actor, comedian, or whoever the heck you are - GOODBYE.
Suddenly the phone goes dead. In a manic rage, JB grabs Edina and smashes her head against the phone. Blood comes gushing out and she huddle into a corner, shaking with fear as JB stands over her.
JB: YOU WOMAN! SEE WHAT YOU WENT AND DID WITH THOSE EMAILS TO ARTY!
Edina: I've had it with this place!
JB: No wait, stop Edina, I didn't mean it like that. I was only trying to give you the lords love.
She was gone. Frustrated, JB scanned the view of the outside. It is sun scorched, a beautiful day. Near the compound is a stable. JB looks in intently knowing what he desires, licking his lips and fumbling his hands in his underwear.
JB: Oh my.
There standing near on completely naked is Eric, the stable lad. Aged about 19 and wearing only his tight y-fronts. On the front of the y-fronts is a logo, with the word CHUMP, which stands for CHRISTIANS HIERARCHY UTOPIA against MEDIA PORNOGRAPHY. Eric stacks hay, combs a horse and then rides off. JB can't help himself. The sight is too much. He must, he must.
Out of nowhere, Puntunia walks in the room where JB stands playing with himself. She is holding an antique china set on a tray. On seeing JB, she drops the tray and the china smashes with a deafening sound. JB stands exposed, naked below the waist with an erection. Puntunia runs from the room, her face in terror, wailing and flailing her arms in the air. Her face tells it all. She has never seen an erection.
Back outside, the roaring of a motorcycle grabs JB's attention. It gets closer and closer. TRESPASSERS ON THE COMPOUND! Not one, but many. BIKERS! And Edina is there on the back of one of their bikes. She sees him at the windows, gestures to the biker and he takes aim with a gun at JB, firing shot after shot, missing everytime. JB knows what to. He runs like the wind to the basement and grabs his tommy gun, and then rushes back upstairs and out the compound door.
JB: You cannot, cannot, defeat god's 10 star general!
JB sprays the airs with bullets as the bikers flee in howls of laughter. Without realizing it, JB has stumbled out of the compound, exposed for all to see.
JB: Oh crap.
Too late, a half dozen of the disciples have seem him. They stand shocked, gawping at the sight of a half naked, middle-aged preacher with a tommy gun and a boner. Then Eric, the stable boy strolls past. He winks at JB. JB blushes.
JB: HOW DARE YOU! I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS KIND OF ISULTATION!

The Compound and the Heart Scene 28, page 54
In a pretty empty space, a closed off part of the compound is JB's meditation room. Secluded from the rest of the compound it is only for JB. No disciples can enter here. In a corner of the room sits a hi-fi and an old grand piano , which is all there is here, other than a lone pair of ballet shoes huddled by the door. JC walks to the piano, turns on a cd, and sits contently on the piano chair. Atop the grand piano is a cloak of some kind with sewn in sequins. JB slides comfortably into the cloak and then begins playing some sheet music. Liberace Hits. This is one of JB's dirty secrets. JB is an avid pianist and lover of the music of Liberace and when he plays it is beautiful. Tears fall from his eyes as he plays Moonlight Sonata, liberace style. When he finishes the song he sits aside the piano and puts in another CD. It is CUSCO, the greatest hits. He jumps, strips naked and puts on his ballet shoes and dances away like an african tribesman.
CUT.

---
Well, thank you Joey. OSCARS and BAFTAS are coming your way.

Joey has also told me that principle casting is taking place now. Rumor has it that William Shatner is up for the lead as JB.


Joey has also hinted that he would like UFOPhil to perhaps be involved in the film, possible playing a 'JB' disciple, Blade the biker, or himself.

JC's filthy mind

'Boiling Pits of Sewage'? What does it mean? Hell? No. Not exactly Do a search on any porn site with a search box and you get poo porn. True that. 2 Girls 1 cup and a fat vile preacher.

REVELATION 1.

JUST WHO THE HELL IS THIS JC FELLOW?

Joseph Smith, the genius mind behind JC Webster the third?
My radio sources tell me off a lowly radio techie named Joseph Smith, a man who has proclaimed himself to be 'Gods 10 star general', JC webster III.
In rambling messages to an internet message board in 2008 he explains about his NEW REVELATIONS, ISULTATIONS AND DISGUSTATIONS. Now, he has come clean.
"I am JC Webster III, yes. I play JC, a horrid preacher man. I am he, his voice. My name is Joe, the voice actor behind JC" He tells me in an email message.
...."I has a rough childhood, left home at 11 and my only companion really was my radio and its my best friend. Then one night, while I was living in Canada with my Jewish wife, Mena, we overheard this guy Art Bell talking about UFO's and all that sort of crazy jazz. Mena, said I should put on one of my voices and I did her favourite, the fat, little, bald man preacher 'JC'. I'd sort of contort my body and neck, you know. Become JC. I'd been doing the character in the comedy and gay clubs for a while. It just seemed popular. I had little catchphrases I could blurt out "HOW DARE YOU!" and "I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS KIND OF INSULTATION" and the crowd would lap it up. Then I'd script. Come with crazy, sometimes unbelievable stories. I went on stage as JC, and became him. When the audience saw me, I was JC. I Joseph Smith, am JC. There is no other. The others are just FRAUDULATORS, as JC would say. In fake there are a few of these evil doers, who go about stealing my creation. One has a twitter page. Another, hangs about on a message board ranting as JC, and there's more.
So '95 rolls by and that's it, I pluck up the courage to phone C2C with Art Bell, and it snowballed from there. It's been crazy. I think I did my 56th or 57th called in FEBRUARY and I want to do more, y'know. However, my personal life is a bit well, bad. I was thrown out of Canada in 2000, for my part in a communist coup' attempt and spent several months in prison. This explains why I never called in for quite a while. It was hell, but you cope. I still allign myself with the reds, but I'm less of a coup type these day. In fact, I'm chilled out. Trek is a big part of my life and I'm looking to get involved somewhere, perhaps even bringing the JC character to the fore and seeing if I can get in the next Star Trek film. You never know. As JC, I rant against Trek, and the actors, but this couldn't be further from the truth. William Shatner is a dear friend, a guiding spirit and true gentleman. He is like a father to me.
Other than that, there could be a potential JC movie in the works. I've sent my script off to several of the studios in Hollywood and the feedback has been great. The JC film is a gay interest drama about the JC you hear on the radio and the real JC, if indeed he were real. My JC, is a closet homosexual who hates women, questions his faith and is slowly falling in love with the compound's stable boy. I don't want to give away to much, but Ang Lee tells me this could be as powerful as Brokeback Mountain. There's even talk of Mel Gibson taking the lead. Fingerscrossed. Anyway, toodle-loo, ttfn.
Kind Regards, Joe Smith."